People tell me there are plenty of fish in the sea. Well that is nice and all but I’m human, I don’t date fish. People who say they sleep like a baby usually don’t have one. If swimming is so good for your figure, then how do you explain whales???…
Are you already thinking about the long weekend? Why not take a few seconds to relax now? Wishing you a happy Labor Day doing the things you love most! When cheese gets its picture taken what does it say? Never drive faster than your guardian angel can fly. “THE…
Don’t follow my footsteps, I run into walls! Inside me is a skinny person screaming to get out. But he shuts up when I eat cake. If the grass is greener on the other side, you can bet the water bill is higher. If at first you don’t succeed, then…
Laugh and the world laughs with you, snore and you sleep alone. I choked on a carrot this afternoon and all I could think was “I bet a donut wouldn’t have done this to me.” Doesn’t expecting the unexpected make the unexpected expected? Life is like a hot bath.…
My windows aren’t dirty, my dog is painting. Everything happening now happens because of everything that has happened before. Don’t worry, the spider is smaller than you. “Yeah. So is a grenade.” My kitchen cleaner says “for a clean kitchen” so I can’t use it, mine is dirty. What’s best…