Thoughts to Ponder . . . Why didn’t I use my turn signals? It’s nobody’s business where I’m going. Every morning I do 10 sit-ups, to hit the snooze button on my alarm clock. I’m looking to buy a new boomerang, how can I throw the old one out?…

  Thoughts to Ponder . . . I’m going to stand outside, so if anybody asks for me, I’m outstanding. The other day when I was walking through the woods, I saw a rabbit standing in front of a candle making shadows of people on a tree. Your eyes water…

  Thoughts to Ponder . . . If you don’t cut the cake in pieces and just eat the whole cake, then you only had one piece. What do I do for a living? I breathe in and out. What’s the best thing about living in Switzerland? The flag is…

  Thoughts to Ponder . . . Enjoy your life thoroughly, the same way you wash your clothes. Whenever you feel stupid, remember that there were people out there searching for Pokemon. I was born to be wild, but only until around 9pm or so. Be a pineapple: stand tall,…

  Thoughts to Ponder . . . I told my wife that a husband is like a fine wine; he gets better with age. The next day, she locked me in the cellar. The most important thing in life is not knowing all the answers, it’s having your phone handy…